In case I have given the impression that I am some sort of plant expert who knows what she's doing, I will regularly post evidence and trials of my black thumb.
I've been slowly changing how I deal with this, hopefully in a more healthy way. I've noticed some people easily toss aside and move on, saying maddening things like: “All plants have a lifetime. Guess it was its time.” Or the irritatingly chipper: “Guess I get to buy something new!”
I feel responsible for missing early cues that things were going south and doing nothing, or making uneducated decisions that resulted in destruction and loss of cash. I feel guilt, disappointment, and failure. But what I am discovering about all this annoyance at the tossers-aside approach and my own approach of taking things a little more seriously is that what really makes me crazy is how tossers-aside give the appearance of not even wanting to figure out and learn from what COULD BE their own negligence. I think I should owe it to my victims at least to make some sort of attempt to learn: what went wrong; what did I do; how can I avoid this again.
As my dead plantcount grows, I seem to be coming up with my own easier-on-me black thumb accountability and trial system. I think it will help me to accept death, get through the grief and guilt faster, and move on.
Black Thumb Bill of Rights Amendment I"In all prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by a jury of this house and in the garden location wherein the crime shall have been committed, and to publicly admit the plant is totally dead; to be confronted with the witnesses against her and listing of possible causes; to have the chance to name a few actions taken to avoid the killing-off, and to have the assistance of others for the speedy removal and (more educated) replacement of the victim plant."
Me v Totally Dead Austrailian LavenderFor example, I discovered this weekend while I was counting to three and then on "two" ripped the dead lavender out of the patio garden, and handed it to J, asking him to get rid of it quickly, I immediatly spouted off my case and rationalization. I presented the facts and conclusion that:
1. FACT: That variety was from Austrailia and never should have been left outside all winter, uncovered.
2. FACT: This is not Austrailia. It would never work. What was I thinking?
3. And the evidence was corroborated by the second specimen contained in the bed with the lilacs: also totally dead.
SentenceMy sentence is that I can't go buy that same type of lavender for the third time, even though I really like how it repeated blooming over and over, and was fast-growing and not picky at all last summer. The dead Austrailian lavender was quickly replaced by a healthier variety that was a bit crowded in another location anyway.
Case closed.
Current Open Case: Me v Tangerine TreeFor today, here is the open case of the once-lovely tangerine tree that J gave me for my birthday last August. It was gorgeous and impressively adorned with two plump fruits.
Exhibit A: Before(photo taken in December 2006)
Exhibit B: After(photo taken mid-March 2007)

Are we really really really sure it’s absolutely dead??